Friday, January 30, 2009

such a lonely place

Our house is lonely, I'm lonely. Jason went back to work yesterday. It is hard to be here without Eli. I'm staying in bed as late as I can so I don't have to look around the empty house. He was usually napping this time of morning after we had been up playing a little. We just miss him more and more every day. It was so hard to see Jason come home from work last night; I knew it would hit him hard and it did. He loved coming home and getting that beautiful smile. It made any bad days at work better. Things are just not the same...

I didn't sleep well last night. I kept waking up thinking about Baby Grace. For those of you not from our area, she was a beautiful 2 year old girl who was beaten and tortured by her mom and step-dad and then thrown into a bay in Galveston. The mom is currently on trial and it is constantly on the news. It just breaks my heart every time I see her picture. At one point last night when I was wake, near tears, I thought I heard the baby monitor... I turned it off already though, so of course it wasn't that, but it did sound like the first rustling of Eli waking up. I forgot for a minute that he was gone, but the red light on the monitor served as a quick reminder. Even though we are going through hell right now, I'm happy Eli had a life of love; he was given to a family that was good to him, didn't hurt him, just loved him. I just wish we had had more time.


Anonymous said...

My heart is reaching out to you,
For what you’re going through;
I’m thinking of you frequently
And praying for you, too.

If there’s something I can do,
Anything at all,
Think of me thinking of you,
And don’t hesitate to call.

By Joanna Fuchs

I found this today...I love ya'll


Devin said...

Reading your blog and learning about Eli makes me hold my little girl closer and enjoy every minute to the fullest. I've never met you and probably never will, but you've touched my heart. I just wanted you to know.

- Devin
(de_mi_le from August PG on iVillage)

Anonymous said...

Rita I wish I could give you a big hug right now. You are so right Eli was lucky that even though his life was way too short he was loved so much for every minute of it. His beautiful smile in his pictures is a testament to that love.

Softangelkisses said...

HUGS & PRAYERS Although we are far away and don't even know each other, I am wrapping you in my love and prayers...