Monday, January 26, 2009

I think I am now entering the silent part of grieving. I don't really have much to say lately; the tears are still flowing but the words are not. Sometimes the silence in our house is deafening...the TV is almost always on to disguise the lack of baby cries and coos.

We miss you so much little man.

We will be going to the funeral home to look at the work-ups of the headstones today. I guess that is the last thing we get to do for Eli.


Anonymous said...

I hope I can put into words what I want to say to you, Rita. The last sentence of your post nearly broke my heart. Picking out a headstone is far from the last thing you will do for Eli. You will continue to educate people about SMA, I'm sure of it. Your words, when they begin flowing again, will remind people like me that getting up multiple times in the night is indeed a priveledge. We will all cherish our little ones more because of you and Eli. Don't give up, please. I truly think that what you can do for Eli is only beginning. Hang in there...we are all here for you and I for one actually look forward to your words, both for inspiration and insight.
Hopeful_mommy_to_orrin, MSN boards

Softangelkisses said...

Your love for Eli will go on forever! HUGS & PRAYERS

Anonymous said...

Rita - this is so not the last thing you will do for Eli- you will have him in your heart everyday for the rest of your life. You will speak out for SMA and other casues. You are thinking on how to be an advocate to help children when they are in the hospital. I know that if Chris, Kendall or myself are ever in the hospital, you will be the first one I call so you can help me channel those instincts. AND, you have let so many people get to know and love you and Jason and Eli that he will live on in so many other hearts as well.


Anonymous said...

Jason and Rita,

First things first, I love you both so much.

I know that there are no words from anyone to take the pain away or to ease it any way. But, I just want you to know that although our words don't have much meaning in a time like this yours do. I read your blog , as do a lot of others, everyday to see how the day is going or how your night went. It's almost as if I can feel everything you write and get a sense of how you feel even though I have no idea how painful it is.
I think that I speak for almost anyone who reads your blogs when I say that you guys are truly amazing and that it didn't take a loss for us to see it...we knew it all along.
I take something different away from each and every passage you write.
So, please keep writing. Because of you I think we all love a little deeper, and probably stop more offen to smell the roses.

Love you both,