Ugh. Today has been such a horrible day for me that I don't even know what to write. I have stood strong against everything and everyone in the two hospital stays we have had here... I can't do it anymore. Today has officially been my breaking point. Eli is gone; there is only a broken baby in his place right now. They have poked, prodded, and tormented him until he is only a shell of the cute smiling baby he was. I am so disheartened. I can't do anything but cry today. He did not get the surgery today. I'm not sure what happened but now it is SUPPOSED to be scheduled for 9 am tomorrow. They finally decided that they just had to have the labs done today so they ended up putting a line in his neck since it was the only place left. Jason and I were in talking with the Hospice nurse when it happened. I'm pretty upset that they didn't even bother making sure we were okay with that. Now they want to draw blood AGAIN in the morning before surgery; if it won't come out of the line in his neck they wanted to prick his heel yet again. That has been done so many times too. We told them we would refuse that. It is just getting to the point of being unethical to me.
I have asked for someone in the hospital to come talk to us about the treatment Eli has received and how dissatisfied we are with it. It is scary how little control you have once you enter the doors of a hospital. I will always think twice before I ever decide to call 911, go to the ER, or come to the hospital for any reason.