Sunday, June 14, 2009
If you search the internet on how to talk to grieving parents, I'm sure you'll find a list of things NOT to say or ask. You'll find the usual things there that upset us, like "He's in a better place" or "I know how you feel", but one you might not find, the one that is KILLING me lately is "How are you?" I recently read an article by another grieving mom and the opening line was "How the f*** do you think I am?" I breathed a sigh of relief. It is not just me who HATES that question. I can promise you, you no more want the real answer to that question any more than I want to answer it. I'm so sick of having to lie and say I'm okay. Do you honestly *think* I can be okay? A huge part of me is decaying in the ground. I go to bed crying because I'm going to have to wake up another day and have no child to love. How good do you think I can be? What would you say if I told you I thought about driving over into the other lane of traffic in hopes that it might make my pain go away? or that I've begged my husband to die with me? Do you really want to hear that? I don't think so, so please quit asking. I'm tired of lying. I am NOT okay and I'm not sure I'll ever be. I AM NOT OKAY.