Thursday, April 2, 2009

8 Months...never to be....

Today you should have been 8 months old... I have been having such a hard time lately with missing you. I see your pictures all around the house, but you are not here. Your room is still set up waiting, but it will always be empty. I have to watch Daddy look at your pictures and see him cry. It hurts me so much to see him hurting again. He has been through so much and you were supposed to be the one thing that could make up for all the losses he has suffered. How could you be taken away too? I can't understand that. There is no answer that makes any sense at all. How could loving parents be given the most precious baby boy only to lose him after 5 months? It doesn't seem right that I never got to read you all the books we picked out for you. We never made cookies or those silly handprint turkeys. We never got to do ANYTHING but love you. And I did little one... I loved you so much. Sometimes I wish I hadn't...maybe it wouldn't hurt so much now, maybe my empty arms wouldn't ache so much if you hadn't been so cute with those beautiful smiles that melted my heart.
If you haven't signed the petition yet, please do it. I would give anything to help Victoria and Bill never experience what Jason and I are going through right now. It is too late for Eli, but sign it for Gwendolyn and the other babies who still have a chance.


Anonymous said...

Hello Rita,

You don't know me, and I don't know you. I didn't know baby Eli either, but I just wanted to let you know that I cried for your loss. What a precious, beautiful little boy. You are so brave, and thanks for sharing your wonderful memories of your beautiful baby.

I personally find hope in Christ because one day there will be no more cries, or tears... which was God's initial plan for us. God wants you to hold baby Eli in your arms again.. and you can.. you will. This world is only temporary. Seek him, and you will find him.

Anonymous said...

You don't know me either, but I just read your post on the Peaboard. Why would you ever regret posting about your beautiful son and your sad heart? Please know that even if just for a moment, you may touch one life for good and that is all because of Eli and you. You may not know how or why or what will come of it, but for me, it has made me aware that my problems are tiny in comparison to your heartache. I am crying for you and your husband, because we are just like you - regular people who love their child/children and who would miss them horribly if they were gone. I may not make a lot of sense, but you are definitely in my thoughts tonight. Many hugs.