Hey Baby Boy...

I got several emails reminding me that you would be 7 months old today. You know your crazy momma had signed up for every kind of newsletter and baby information website she could find... I wanted to make sure I knew what to expect and what to do. In the past they served as reminders of how behind you were in movement; now they serve as a reminder that you're not here. It takes so long to make all the emails and magazines stop coming and each one that comes makes me a littler sadder.

You were a cute baby but I was waiting patiently on the days you were old enough to do crafts and make cookies. I had already started collecting cookie cutters for us; that's how much I was looking forward to doing that with you. I had so many plans and it is HARD to give them up. We never even got a chance to get started. SMA robbed us both of so much. I hate it. I hate it with all my heart. Daddy and I decided to buy a lottery ticket tomorrow night; I promise you that if we win, we will give as much as we can to stop other familes from going through this. I hate to know that there are other moms going through this same hell. I hate not being able to help them; I already know there's nothing to say or do that will make this any easier.

Just know that we will never forget you; you took a huge chunk of our hearts with you, but you still have a big place there. I'll always love you and always wonder what might have been...

xoxoxo
Mom