No matter how many times I go to buy flowers, I'm never prepared for the sadness it brings. You would think after a year, your heart couldn't break any more than it already has...wrong. I can feel another piece of it crack every time I go and walk the aisles of flowers. How do you even pick flowers that are good enough for your child? I usually walk around hating everything, but not because they aren't pretty.... I just don't want to be shopping for flowers. I came home with a few bags full of them because if I don't get them, I have to look at 6 sad graves each time we visit Eli. It is always a wake-up call for me and helps me remember that my Jason has lost so much more than I have.

We go pick up the crabs tomorrow. I guess we will take those to the children's hospital on Thursday. It won't make the day better, but at least it is doing something.