We took our trip out to the cemetery today. The weather seems fitting for the day; it has been gray, cloudy, and raining since I woke up. We put new flowers on all 6 of the graves and left a red rose for Eli. Before we left we released 5 balloons in remembrance of the wonderful 5 months we got to enjoy our beautiful son. I figured I would cry more than I have today, but I feel numb more than anything. It is all still surreal at times, like a nightmare that I'm still waiting to wake up from.