Monday, May 4, 2009

Grumble, Grumble

I went to look at the petition tonight and from the numbers and the comments, I could tell another baby had been diagnosed. It is so heartbreaking to watch parents join the world of SMA. It is such a hell to be thrown into, one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Keep the family of 5 month old Addy Grace in your thoughts (and prayers if you so wish).

Jason and I went to the zoo today and at one point, I almost lost it. The keepers had a cheetah out of his cage showing him off to the zoo patrons. It was so amazing to see such a magnificent animal that up close, with no fences, only grass separating us. There was a mom and small baby girl, I'm guessing less than a year old, next to us. The mom was swinging the baby back and forth towards the cheetah, telling her she was going to feed her to the him. Ummm...if you draw the interest of the cheetah to your baby, you might REALLY end up doing just that. We were not that far away from the animal at all; he could have grabbed that baby in a second. I was SO MAD. I said something to Jason and was about to yell at the mom but she left before I could get it out. How dumb is that??? It's a wild animal for goodness sakes. That kind of thing pisses me off. Stupid women like that can have beautiful baby girls who LIVE and I only get 5 months with my son? Errr....

On a brighter note: Today was a good day for my project. We will have enough recipes in the next week or so. My mom worked hard and sold ads today, so we have help with the print cost thanks to some Kentucky businesses. Sara has also started selling some here locally in Kingwood. My good friend Bill is going to design the ads for us. He is a lifesaver because I am so clueless about art and graphic design. (Lots of mint chocolate coming your way my friend) I have another surprise that I will hopefully get to share in the next few weeks. It is in the early developmental stages, but thanks to an amazing lady down here in Texas, I might have a wish granted much sooner than I thought it could happen.

I am trying so hard to do things that make a positive difference to someone, somewhere in the world. It is the only real purpose I have right now. It never feels like enough to me, but hopefully a small gesture will mean something bigger to someone. I am still very bitter and very angry, but I try to channel it and do positive things instead of sitting home all day pissed off. I still do that from time to time, probably much more than I should, but I must keep fighting SMA in hopes I can stop some parents in the future from being where I am now.

Just FYI, the carrier status for SMA is now 1:30 people. Scary, huh?

and finally, Jason and I are doing much better with our eating now. I hope we can switch back to "healthy eating mode". We did it for so long before; maybe it will be like riding a bicycle?? :)

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