It's a bad week here at home, so pardon the lack of posts.

Today I went and had my blood drawn again for the SMA carrier test. Jason's came back positive, so I am pretty sure mine will to0; I only went to repeat it in hopes that our doctor can persuade our insurance to cover a round of IVF. I don't hold out too many hopes of that happening, but I feel like I need to at least make an effort. I feel like the pain we feel will only start to lessen if we have another child to cherish and love. Without that, I think anger and bitterness will be the future we have ahead of us. We are both overtaken by it so many minutes of our lives now.

We dropped off more donations to Ronald McDonald House while we were up that way today. Thanks to my mom and my local friends, I would guess we had at least 5 gallon bags full of pop tabs (if not more)! We also took 3 bags of food and supplies. It became a bit awkward when the lady asked if we had stayed at one of the houses. After I said yes, she said she hoped it had a good outcome. I didn't know what to say to not make it uncomfortable for all of us...

Tomorrow we go finalize and purchase Eli's headstone. We are going with the teddy bear in black granite. It will take about 8 weeks to make, so it should be here in time for his birthday. The grass we took out there and planted is looking great and I like not seeing the ugly dirt anymore. The wind chimes are still beautiful and play a song for us each time we visit.

We finally have all the recipes we need for the cook book. All I have to do now is finish editing and get the ads ready. My friend Bill is a lifesaver on the ad side of things. I have no graphic design abilities so I'm leaving that side of things to him.

Tomorrow would have been both Jason's mom and his brother's birthday, so please keep him and his family in your thoughts.