![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghmdiHx1Y6zo8SIX8W_hLsI2Ob8StHIhPXvEQwYLJfvMijTIDnp7xl6t6nnL5g0MGlM0gJCHzvd6se0NgL63viBy9ZQhfQT0rwCOC4d_lylMeqG_8vB4HzVoC23m4aQf18MtfB2WC5CYA/s320/100_3201.jpg)
Wow... Where did the first month go already? It seems like yesterday that we were going every week to the doctor, waiting on those 9 months to be over. It has been a very trying month, but we all survived. I wish people were more open and honest about how difficult breastfeeding really is, or how rough those first few weeks at home really are. I have struggled with the knowledge that I'll never be able to exclusively feed Eli myself, but I've slowly accepted it and am trying to give him as much breast milk as I can produce. I have finally stopped stressing over it so much and realize I can only do what my body will allow. I have to be thankful that we were even able to have a child without going through a lot of medical procedures; I will always owe Weight Watchers that much!
I've never felt so helpless and incompetent in my whole life, nor have I experienced so many mood swings! I hope my emotions are starting to become more stable, but I still find myself crying for no reason sometimes. I have had *THE* best support system anyone could ever hope for though. My mom stayed with me for 3 weeks and was constantly doing things in the house or watching Eli so I could rest. Jason has been the best dad EVER and I have fallen even more in love with him now that I've watched him with our son. Eli is a very good baby and I can't complain about him at all. He slept for 5 hours straight last night!
All in all, things are going great now. Jason is working a couple of extra days this week and will be going to Cleveland next week. I do get overwhelmed when I'm alone for extended periods of time, so these next 2 weeks will be a HUGE challenge. I know I'll either be worn out from trying to do too much, or the house will be a wreck!