Sunday, June 14, 2009
If you search the internet on how to talk to grieving parents, I'm sure you'll find a list of things NOT to say or ask. You'll find the usual things there that upset us, like "He's in a better place" or "I know how you feel", but one you might not find, the one that is KILLING me lately is "How are you?" I recently read an article by another grieving mom and the opening line was "How the f*** do you think I am?" I breathed a sigh of relief. It is not just me who HATES that question. I can promise you, you no more want the real answer to that question any more than I want to answer it. I'm so sick of having to lie and say I'm okay. Do you honestly *think* I can be okay? A huge part of me is decaying in the ground. I go to bed crying because I'm going to have to wake up another day and have no child to love. How good do you think I can be? What would you say if I told you I thought about driving over into the other lane of traffic in hopes that it might make my pain go away? or that I've begged my husband to die with me? Do you really want to hear that? I don't think so, so please quit asking. I'm tired of lying. I am NOT okay and I'm not sure I'll ever be. I AM NOT OKAY.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I wish there was something I could do from NC to ease the agony some. If you can ever get over this way....
Meanwhile, I just read a post from a mom who lost her teen son 7 months ago; it seemed so timely after reading your current post, I'm convinced there was a bit of angel intervention involved :)
http://www.halfpastkissintime.com/2009/06/need-inspiration.html
I hope that it will provide a tiny ray of hope that while your life will never be the same, you will find joy and contentment and a purpose for being.
Lots of hugs from NC -
Helen
PS - Be on the lookout for Eli signs, which I feel confident you've had whether you realized it not. I had Jeffrey signs when I REALLY needed them in years past; they still appear, and it's still incredible....
I hated that question too for so long after Caitlin died. I didn't answer the way most people expected. My answer was usually "OK" or "Just hangin in there." If they pressed with "what only OK?!" I let them have it. "Well, it's hard to be fine, when your daughter is dead." Another bereaved mom simply remains silent. Thinking of you. Your son, Eli, is gorgeous. I am so sorry.
Thanks for visiting my blog. Peace.
Sweetheart,
Death is not an end but yet another beginning. Please know that you will see your son again in a better place and time, free of all the hardships that make many amoungst us want to hang it all up. But alas it cannot be if we make the choice for ourselves instead of letting our creator choose when and where. Your work in this world is not done. Your here for a reason... Find the reason and fulfill your pourpose, cause even though Eli has passed, his memory still lives on with us now and for the rest of our time. Be strong and live. Let the love between you and Jas and your heavenly Father break any burden that you carry. My culture has a saying, if you will, that states that God will tighten his grip, but He will never, EVER choke.
Post a Comment