Hard to believe that one year ago we had no idea we were going to lose our precious Eli. I'm a bit weepy this morning just looking at the tree and remembering. One year go Eli and I would have been up looking at the lights on the tree. We always stayed up after Jason left for work and watch the lights. I think the tree stayed on from morning until bedtime because he seemed to love them so much. I miss him so much. He wasn't part of our lives for very long, but he changed us so much in that short amount of time. He was such a gift, but one I was not ready to give up so soon. I still wonder what he'd be like today. I still peek at the clothes in the little boys section wondering what he'd look like in them. I still think about all the books we never got to read and the toys we never played with. It is hard to give up all that...even now.

I'm going to try to post my favorite video a bit later. It is sad for me to watch, but also one of my best memories.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband.